This awakening is not like the others. For once, a sense of everything she had been, and everything she might be, rolled through her mind. She attempted to wrap her thoughts around this stormy sea, it went this direction and the next. It was exciting, though, enveloping, and rains cleansed her while the light of 10,000 suns drew her out.
The force was simultaneously amazing and intimidating. There was no going forward without reaching, no stopping now. Hope and fear emerged hand in hand, revealing themselves, and inviting her out to play. Every sound amplified her thoughts. This is where the others live, she surmised. It was clean, and horrible, and real.
Trying to get back to a safe place, she reached toward the depths of her heart for a dream. The dream drew her slowly to the realization that even while dreaming, she was awake. There was no stopping the awakening now.
The dawn held more than promise. It bathed her, stripped her of excuses, shone a light to draw her out into the wild. This was a place she thought she knew. After all, she had been here before. Yet now experience taught her that every pulse was a reason to reach, every breath another step forward. There was no going back. There was no back.
She wished she were swimming, buoyed in Mother Earth’s amniotic fluid. There, even while pushing her limits, she was safe. There were challenges to safety there, but nothing like out here, where things were raw and cold, but real and motivating at the same time.
Dancing. A moment recalled from years ago, where she spun across the floor, pushing the limits of control. A little like flying. Heart dancing, she thought, this feeling is called. My heart is dancing.
Every sound was familiar but fresh. A call to this awakening. What must she do? Rise and do something, anything different. But what? She struggled with this only a moment before taking her pen to paper, truly a calling of her old self. Also her new self.
The sky expanded, then collapsed. She observed eons and epochs go by and felt herself traverse through each one. She laughed, growing more familiar with this Wonderland of sensation. Then she let go, wandering out into into a world both intimate and strange, new and ancient. She let go.