Sometimes I think…maybe I DO have adult ADHD. I am interested in everything, want to do everything, and every day it’s like Career Day at school in my head. “Astronaut or ballet dancer?” Well, BOTH please! Actually it’s more like “Continue trying to work in parks or go back to school and teach? OR try to work in the disaster industry again, OR just go back to my theater and dance roots?”
Lately I feel the answer is right in front of my face. I just learned they cancelled science camp for public school students in my neck of the woods. While I was working my way through college, I worked at one of these. I also attended, as a student in times of yore. Outdoor school is all of the above, it’s skit night, it’s teaching, it’s SCIENCE. For most kids, it’s the first time they’ve experienced wilderness OR science and their first stint away from their parents. It’s amazing.
I couldn’t do this full time anymore, but I would like to find a way to restore it. I would still like to teach science in constructive ways. So, I guess, there is my answer. I just need to earn money while I do it! I’ll continue along this ethnography path while I do it. Maybe. Or head to the hills with the first nature-oriented job I find.
Here I am, almost 40, no career, no kids, in social standards “nothing to show for it.” I try to remind myself there is no right path but mine had taken a number of crazy switchbacks. Most of which, I am grateful for. I also remind myself numerous people start over. It happens all the time.
BREATHE. And call the science school so I can help restore it.