washing away the pain


When I arrived at the beach this afternoon, the air was still heavy with mist.  It was a moist, dense, nearly suffocating mist and after walking a bit on the water’s edge it was time to shed my layers and jump in.

Note to self: Don’t leave your husband the same week your period starts.  Not only will your emotional highs and lows be catastrophic, the actual physical cramping and pain will be abominable. I let waves crash against my back, hips, and thighs.  It provided amazing relief.  I wanted to float but knew I might get so relaxed I was apt to get carried away.  I watch the hills, beautiful hills rising up an away from the beach.  In Orange County they have been leveled and filled with homes.  Here, development is limited, and it feels more like “old” California, at least 50 years old.

I walk up and down the beach again.  Now a wind has started and it is almost chilly.  Of course I am wet to the bone so put my long sleeved shirt on. The sky and land are full of magic. Marbled godwits and sandpipers chase each other along the water’s edge.  I’ve never seen so many at once. The coast is much more natural here.  Several dogs are off-leash; I want to remind the owners they pose a threat to the bird habitat, because, quite simply, dogs chase birds.  These birds also won’t nest in areas that smell like dog.  Not today.  I’m not a ranger today.  I’m just a human being, doing enough to disturb the bird habitat as well.  Well, without chasing them.

I take the boogie board out but it’s not the greatest day to boogie.  So I let the water slap me around a little more.  Then I walk again.

I walk until the edge of the last jetty, then I turn around.  Walking meditation works for me.  The waves lap at my thoughts and my feet, and my mind is clear, focused.  Now I’m hungry.  I drive to the store, and then home.  Esposo has texted me.  Another day.

An intro to karate class tonight: I feel 5 years old again.  And now writing before I sleep.  Beautiful day, good healing.  Still in some pain but it will pass.  Recovery for the future..

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