life, big and small

To do justice to a life through a few small words is a large feat. How I feel is not to live my life as those who have passed would want, but to be true to ourselves. That is the way we can best live our lives, while doing justice to those who passed.

I loved my grandmother, but she was very old, and had wanted to die for awhile. She was the last surviving sibling in her family, both older and younger.

Losing my mother a few years ago, was, admittedly, harder. Yet who knows how I will feel tomorrow, when I get up to say those few small words, those words meant to represent her and bring comfort to others. Who knows what I will feel in the arms of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Who knows if we all will cry abominably. Or maybe we will laugh along with her spirit.

Well here, here, is just where I will prepare to choose my words. Where I will learn to take the big and the small and combine it into a few small phrases. Where I will choose my words, but I will also learn to make choices about the rest of my life, and how to make it a good one.


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