So back and forth…if I’m honest with myself and the folks here I’ll let you know I’ve tried to go back to my husband. Been at it a few days, and got into bad eating habits. Got into bad habits again. So, letting myself free of that and saying, “OK. With or without him you WILL be healthy.”
So eating well again. Walking again. Yoga again. These are immediately available.
Still plan to spend MOST of the summer with my father. This has been complicated since he got a roommate when I was in my “I can handle this alone” mode. (Hint: NO ONE can handle leaving a marriage, a job, much less BOTH of these ALONE). I may be back and forth a bit, trying out time with the husband as he and I both advance. But in any event, it is far preferable to being out in the boonies, on my own, and trying to cope with everything alone.
But I’m here to tell you diet DOES make a difference. And get your body out walking, if nothing else. DO IT.
I have realized that over years I thought I dealt with the grief of my mother’s passing. In actuality I’ve just covered it with other layers off stress. Blankets and blankets of it. Different reactions with the removal of each blanket. Some “hoorays” and some dismays. I know I could use a therapist to help me through this. But I’ve also learned that having the RIGHT therapist can make a huge difference.
Talked to the BFF about HER marriage situation today. Even though I miss out on having kids, I am grateful not to have to deal with what she is going through. At this point, it is difficult only to extrapolate MYSELF from my situation. Her feelings are mixed and understandable. We exchange information about nutrition, financial planning, and other things we can do to get our bodies and minds in better shape. How amazing to have this person in my life since I was 3 years old! It is strange to see how far we have come and how far we have to go.
I know this: As long as there are stars, we will keep reaching for them. Writing helps. A little every day…