Oh thou mischievous sandal so light in appearance!
How thee danced from the shelf into my cart and bade me take you home!
What promises thou made of carefree summery walks and dancing!
How when I first tried you on with the cushy sofa did you make claims to equal comfort,
How with height did the body of your sole also seem to absorb impact!
But nay, traitorous fiend, thou hath the heart of a stiletto!
What wreckage hast thou done to my knees and calves!
I might have been aware upon the end of one day whence your straps lightly pinched my toe,
And yet, unawares, I thought this might be the most grievous of your offenses.
Fie, villain, your art has been at last discovered, and yet I cherish you still!